dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
