He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
