No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
you're hired as official boob wrangler
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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