yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
