He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
