I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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