He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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