When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
