my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
