you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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