her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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