well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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