oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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