franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
