Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
