You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
And the cops told us we were all naked.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
