I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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