i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
