trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize