it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
