I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
