One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
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