before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
