we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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