i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
