But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
