You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i came on her dog
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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