Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
