My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
