nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
