Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
