You smell like stripper and shame
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
