'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
