I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
