The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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