I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
