EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
