You're a womanizer and a bitch.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
