I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell