so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
you inspire me to be a worse person
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.