you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
