It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
