At least make sure they are 18
Why
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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