She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She told me I should be a condom model.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
