How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
