Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize