idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
