Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
