ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
