She's JV to your varsity
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize