I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
