would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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