just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
God, I missed his penis.
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