I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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