Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
