i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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