Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
