sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
honey bunches of taint.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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