I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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