I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
