IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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