I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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