I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
