my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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