forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
